I Heart Weightlifting

I stood under the pull-up bar, eyes closed and breathing slowly and deeply. I imagined my blood being pumped out of my heart to the muscles I was going to tear apart, again. This time it was my lats and biceps. It was my little ritual right before any physical feat that I might not be able to pull off. I opened my eyes, jumped up and grabbed the bar. I was reeling in the mid air. And it felt so weird to have no pressure under my feet or on my knees. In this Jackie Chan-endorsed fitness club, this moment was the closest I could get to how the stuntman lived his life. I inhaled and contracted my muscles. Next thing I knew I DID IT. I just performed the first regular pull up in my life.

That was a personal milestone. It meant from that day on I could finally ditch the gayass assisted machine for good and do pull-ups like a man. Chris Rock said, “Women cannot go backwards in lifestyle, and men cannot go backwards sexually.” In weightlifting I never go back either. Once I deadlift 110 pounds, I will never deadlift anything under. Once I could do a regular pull-up, to paraphrase the comedian, that’s how the fuck I roll for the rest of my life.

In fact all bodybuilders sculpted their Grecian godlike physiques this way. Start small, and work your way up by repetition. Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” The first sentence is self-evident: a writer writes, a singer sings and a weightlifter lifts weights. The second means a weightlifter gets better by constantly pushing the envelop. I did not just grab the pull-up bar and do 20 pull-ups nonstop like a black dude that's ripped out of his mind. I still can't, yet. At the very beginning I needed the assistance of an “assisted pull-up/chin-up/dip machine”, which has a pad that pushes me up while I fake doing the exercise. I remember adjusting the weight to 19 kilograms - in the case of assisted machines the heavier the weight, the weaker the user - the first time I kneeled on the machine. Within the span of 3 months I ratcheted it down till I hit 5 kilograms with 8 reps per set. Then I moved on to the real thing.

The awkward kneeling down is but one reason I couldn't wait to outgrow the machine: historically in China, kneeling means submission. In feudal eras, slave-like servants and ministers kneeled down on both of their knees and kowtowed to emperors to vow their fealty, or to beg for the pardon of their lives. Why would I do that to a machine just to get bigger? I westernize my diets, my language and lifestyle whenever I can, but subconsciously I'm still deeply rooted in my Chinese heritage.

Discipline bordering on masochism is required in any field to be successful. Stephen King said, “Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work.” The bestselling author was talking about writing fiction. But it rings even truer when it comes to weightlifting. Regardless of your genetics - the muscle building equivalent of talent - the mechanism of muscle building is simple: you overload your muscles with heavy weights, or high repetitions of lifting and lowering, or both. The goal is to create micro tears in your muscles, so when they recover and grow, they become bigger and stronger. Then you wreak havoc on them again. That's why to grow I'm always in pain, or suffer from delayed onset muscle soreness. But the pain is bittersweet - it means that my muscles are growing. Only in weightlifting and kinky sex pain is so close to pleasure.

Muscles are made in the kitchen and the bedroom, not in the gym. Proper nutrition and enough rest are the key to any fitness goal. Right after a workout, rigorous or half-hearted, I religiously take my protein shakes, which I also enjoy 2 to 3 times throughout the day. GNC's chocolate favored whey protein is so delicious I'm addicted to it. Its artificial sweeteners have no impact on my blood sugar but pacify my sweet tooth. This stuff isn't cheap but I see it as an investment in improving myself, along with the investment of the gym membership and the investment of time in working out.

Many people don't understand why gym goers even bother to go to gym. Yet people in Hong Kong spend their time doing “voluntary” work, such as visiting the elderly who lived alone and preferred to be left alone, or taking to the streets to protest, so that they will make the world a better place. I have nothing against such honorable causes, but I'd rather listen to Aldous Huxley who says, “There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” So I take care of my diabetic, post-stroke step father instead of cheating on him by pestering some other old people. So I try to improve myself both inside and out whenever I'm free. And for fat girls trying to be helpful, you too will be doing the world a big favor by slimming the heck down.

Despite my hectic daily schedule, I managed at least 3 workouts per week. My legs, my core, my back, my arms and my chest are spread among the workouts, so each muscle group has 7 days to recover and grow. While I am writing this, my entire back and my glutes are still hurting from yesterday's post-work workout. So tomorrow I'm gonna kill my arms and chest, again.